we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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