Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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