How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just found puke in my bra..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
