biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize