oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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