All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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