i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
