I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i now understand why vodka
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
