your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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