uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
