hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
