not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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