dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Two words: nipple clamps
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