i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
