I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
