Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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