Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
