guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize