Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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