i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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