The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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