Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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