i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
