It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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