More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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