He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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