Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Found your dick twin last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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