so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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