this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
