my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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