just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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