I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
