ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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