I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
