Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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