oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
