what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
