you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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