I want to stick my p in your. b.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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