I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
