WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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