And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
