i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
