It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My feet surprised me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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