id be glad to
I look better un-naked...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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