Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
