Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
