You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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