I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
