I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
