btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
