Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
