stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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