that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
