She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this boner is exhausting
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
