Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
