You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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