There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
