Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
