I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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