fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
