return my video game
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
