Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
