We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
