so that wasnt chicken after all
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
