You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
