So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just gift wrapped bread.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
